Cont. SECURING THE FORTRESS: THE MARRIAGE COVENANT

by Pastor James Kimathi
18th May 2025

Marriage as a covenant is initiated by God, “the superior one.”

                Ecclesiastes 4:10-12 states, “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

            It is important to note that although one person can be overpowered, two can defend themselves. Thus, if the two people are overpowered, they can stand the enemy but not withstand the pressure to break apart. The pressure to break you apart increases when you are two in marriage. As long as you are two of you, the tendency to break up is much easier, which is why there are currently many broken marriages. As Ecclesiastes 4:12 portrays, a cord of three strands is not easily broken. Therefore, including God in the equation enables your marriage to be firm.

            How God is the initiator of the marriage covenant

1. The first strand is God (Ecclesiastes 4:12). It is important to note that God calls people into marriage. In Genesis 2, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” God desired marriage for Adam; Adam did not desire marriage for himself. God made something ‘a woman’ out of the ground where the man had come from. Thus, God initiates marriage.
2. God caused the man to enter a deep sleep. Similarly, we must allow the Lord to bring us into a deep sleep. Such refers to shifting from a place of sensuality to a place of sensitivity. Entering a deep sleep means that we are insensitive. In Genesis 15:12-16, God entered into a covenant with Abram by bringing him into a place of deep sleep. Thus, it is paramount for us to ask the Lord to remove sensuality, lust, etc. Unless we fall into a deep sleep, we will fail to enter the marriage covenant. We should rest confidently in the hands of God. It is essential to note that anytime God wants to deal with us in things that pertain to His will, He will cause us to enter a deep sleep (Daniel 10:9) (Daniel 8:18). On the other hand, God cannot remove the rib out of your side unless you are in a deep sleep. In this case, we should enter a place of revelation and covenant by allowing the Lord to cause us to enter a place of deep sleep.
3. The Lord made a woman for a man. In this process, the Lord retrieved the raw material from the man when the man was asleep. Therefore, the woman is made from the man. Divorce is thus insignificant before God. Because the woman is made from another man’s rib, she can only get out of the marriage if the man dies. John 19:32-34 portrays this as it showcases that when one of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with the spear, blood and water came out, resulting in the birth of the Christian bride. Therefore, we are called the bride of Christ because we have been removed from Him. In conjunction, the way to find your wife is to find what God has for you (Genesis 2:23). As long as you are a woman’s man, you belong to someone. As a wife, you cannot continue being the daughter of your mother and father. Your origins change, as you are no longer a product of your family but a product of the man’s family.
4. The Lord brought the woman to a man: A woman is brought to a man. She does not have the obligation to seek and find a man. Besides, during this process, man should be in a deep sleep, serving the Lord and entirely giving himself to God’s will. It is the man’s work to call out the woman whom God brings his way. It is not women’s work to look for men. Instead, it is their work to be prepared by the Lord in the place of deep sleep. A lady should pray unto God, “bring me to my man.”
5. The Lord gives the terms and conditions for marriage (Genesis 2:24): The wife does not need to leave because she has already been brought. The marriage covenant is more binding than a person’s birth identity. Unfortunately, many marriages are distorted because we come from cultures and setups where the son is told to strengthen their ties with the family. Men ought to go out of their father’s house. The woman is the man’s wife, not the daughter of his father and mother. Marriages do not endure, especially in Africa, because in-laws come between the marriage covenant between the husband and wife. Marriage is an essential institution with the final authority of the couple. Thus, a man should leave to be truly joined with his wife. A man’s first authority is pegged in his marriage. A wife is denoted as the product of the man. For a man to build a genuine, lasting relationship, he should come out from his parents. He cannot carry the laws of his father’s house. In this case, the man ought to establish the foundation of his marriage so that His father or mother cannot break it. In conclusion, we should note that marriage is not our covenant but God’s covenant. We should depend on God and remain in fellowship with the Lord.